Paragmasteh

When I was no more than a lad

Good was good and bad was bad

Definition was what we had

When I was a lad.

But things move on it’s assumed they must

Though shouldn’t advancement be discussed?

There’s no brain used just pelvic thrust

Disgusting but a must.

Bone idleness is now the lore

With the World Wide Web inside each door

The library? Hell that’s a chore

Bone idleness is now folk’s lore.

For queen and country people ran

An honour just to represent your clan

Now the race is run from a banking plan

Long forgotten why people ran.

We had the power for heat and light

To use all day and all the night

But somehow it does not seem right

That we’ll soon be back to candle light.

In those days when you didn’t need a seat

And the ball never left the best one’s feet

Now it’s stepovers ‘cos they can’t compete

And you’re not allowed to leave your seat.

Oh yes,

Do you have metatarsals? I never did

They weren’t invented when I was a kid

Safely in and out of tackles I always slid

As every kid I know did.

I was scared to death by The Exorcist

Which today is on a toddler’s list

And of tomorrow? “Live beheadings – Do not miss!”

And laugh at The Exorcist.

If you got involved in fisticuffs

And got knocked down that was enough

Now they want to kick you till you’re snuffed

It’s now rough stuff fisticuffs.

Not long ago when you had a blocked drain

You used drain cleaner in the main

Now scumbags use it to blow up planes

The world’s gone down the drain.

Oh give me back those days of yore

When your fingers didn’t walk and your feet got sore

And if you saw a bit of cleavage you shouted “Core!”

In those innocent days of yore.